Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

Marriage, divorce, and remarriage, or MDR, is one of the topics of the utmost importance. We all know someone that has been married, divorced, and/or remarried. So there is great interest in our marriages for the overall good of the church and the world in general. Stronger marriages help to make the church stronger. Stronger marriages make the world a better place and help to prevent some of the lasciviousness we see presently. When it comes to marriage, divorce, and remarriage, we must look to God’s Word to find the answers concerning these very personal and often emotionally charged subjects. 

        Last year at Polishing the Pulpit, bro. Rob Whitacre brought out a very good way to describe what the Bible says with regard to DMR. I have adapted these points in my own words and I hope they will help you understand what God has said concerning the subject.

God is the Only One that Can Authorize Marriage 

God created marriage in the Garden of Eden. With all the things that God had made, He saw that it was good. The first time that something in the garden is described as not good is found in Genesis 2:18. “And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” Thus, Jehovah is the one who authorized the first and all subsequent marriages. 

God Only Makes Marriage According to His Standard. 

        On this occasion, God created Eve, a perfect complement of Adam out of one of his ribs. The word of God states the standard by which all marriages are to occur. The Bible teaches,   

And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof:  and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 

(Gen. 2:21-22) 

        From this passage, there are some things worth noting. God knew what Adam was missing and He made a woman, and He brought her unto the man. We can safely ascertain that marriage is only valid in the eyes of God if it is done according to His standard. That standard being a man and a woman becoming one flesh. This does not allow for homosexual marriage. God had made a man already, and He could have made another man in an instant. He did not though; He made a suitable helpmeet for Adam and that was only a woman.  

God is the Only One that Can End a Marriage. 

        In Matthew 19, when questioned about divorce, Jesus said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”(cf. Matt. 19:6). It is God that does the joining, and man should not seek to divide the union God has created according to His standard. 

        Divorce is never the intent of a man and a woman who say I do. I understand some individuals go into marriage with a mindset that it is on the table, but it is hard to believe that anyone genuinely wants to put themselves through such a trauma. When questioned about divorce, Jesus first put into mind that God is the source of marriage and He is the only one that can end a marriage. 

God Always Ends Marriage According to His Standard

On what grounds can a marriage end? The ideal one is death. The inspired Apostle Paul wrote, “A wife is bound for so long time as her husband liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is free to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39). In this passage we learn the marriage bond is broken by death. When Jesus was questioned by some Sadducees concerning a woman who had been remarried after the deaths of many brothers, they asked in the resurrection (which the Sadducees did not even believe in) whose wife will she be. “The Lord explained, For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as angels in heaven” (Matt. 22:30). Simply put marriage ends at death. 

What about divorce? The Lord provided one exception for divorce. 

“ And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery”

 (Matt. 19:9). 

        The only authorized reason for divorce, is fornication, in the original language porneia is defined as unlawful sexual relations. Sexual relations are isolated to the only institution that God has given for such, marriage. Once again, God does the joining by His standard. God will only allow that covenant to be dissolved because of fornication. However, it does not have to dissolve a marriage, marriages have been reconciled even after such a sin. This is merely the only reason a marriage can be dissolved outside of death.

        If that marriage cannot be reconciled, the innocent party is allowed to remarry someone who is also allowed to be married. The guilty party, the one guilty of fornication, is not permitted to be remarried. Jesus made it known that the one who marries the one put away (for fornication) committeth adultery (continues to commit). Anyone who puts away a wife (or husband) and marries another for any reason other than fornication (including abuse, discontent, etc.) committeth adultery (continues to commit). 

God has set the standard for marriage; He is one who does the joining according to His standard. In the case of ending a marriage, God is the only one who can do that, and He only ends a marriage by His standard. I realize this is not a well-received topic. It is uncomfortable for many people to hear, let alone talk about. However, God has every right to speak on this subject and we, as the body of Christ, must hear Him. Remember the emphasis of Christ, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (cf. Matt. 19:6). 

Grace and Peace, 

R.D. Beavers